


Var Lath Vir Suledin

by Heatheness



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games)
Genre: Eventual Smut, F/M, Porn With Plot, Rivalry, Will Add Tags As They Become Relevant
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-08
Updated: 2021-02-08
Packaged: 2021-03-13 16:35:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29281560
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Heatheness/pseuds/Heatheness
Summary: It has been 7 years since Corypheus, and 5 years since your run in with the Dread Wolf. You disbanded the Inquisition with one obsession in mind; finding the love of your life, and saving him from his dark path.But after years and years of traveling Thedas looking for Solas, and failing time and time again, you find yourself broken and devastated with nothing to show for your efforts. You have no money, have pushed away most of your friends, and now have no faith in yourself or your cause. It seems the Dread Wolf has abandoned you.Just when you think you are content to spend the rest of your days in drunken squalor, you find a bit of solace in the arms of another elf, but as soon as you begin to open your heart and body to another, Fen’Harel begins plaguing your dreams....It seems if he can’t have you, no one can.....May the Dread Wolf take you, Lavellan.
Relationships: Female Lavellan/Fenris, Female Lavellan/Solas, Fen'Harel | Solas/Female Lavellan, Fen'Harel | Solas/Reader, Fenris/Reader, Fenris/You, Fen’Harel | Solas/You
Comments: 4
Kudos: 13





	Var Lath Vir Suledin

**Author's Note:**

> This story takes place five years after the events of the Trespasser DLC for Dragon Age: Inquisition. You are a female mage Lavellan, who is in love with Solas. 
> 
> After the events of Trespasser, you disbanded the inquisition, and took Varric up on his offer to move into a Kirkwall estate with a title. In the past five years, you have been using what’s left of your wealth and influence traveling Thedas trying to find Solas. 
> 
> When you are at home, you become close to Varric’s Kirkwall friends, including male Hawk, Anders, Merril, Isabela, and Fenris. 
> 
> The story enters on you returning, forlorn and sorrowful, back to your estate, after failing in your most recent quest to find Solas in Antiva. 
> 
> I do hope you enjoy! 
> 
> (The first chapter is dramatic as all get out, but I really wanted to paint a scene of “you are depressed as all holy fuck,” cuz she is lol)

_ *The Night of Your Return* _

Here you stood. Staring at the markings on your front door, in the dark of the night under unforgiving stars, here you stood, as a failure, yet again. 

A heavy sigh racked your body and heart. You didn’t know if it was the weight of your failure, or the end of the long journey from Antiva, probably both, but either way, you were tired. 

_ So. Tired.  _

Another hallowed sigh left your breath in the night air. Tears began to threaten your eyes before you opened the heavy metal door into your Kirkwall estate. 

It was disheveled, dusty, and looked near-abandoned. You dismissed the servants long ago, you could no longer pay them to maintain it while you went on your long adventures. If it weren’t for the fact that this estate was a gift paid-in-full by the now-Viscount Varric, you wouldn’t be able to pay for it either. It was the only remaining thing you owned, and the closest thing to a place you could call “home.” Or at least, a home base. 

Parchments, maps, and letters were strewn about the rooms. Old suits of armor, staffs, medals, weapons, tapestries and gifts adorned the walls and decorated the empty spaces. All were remnants of your once glorious time as the Inquisitor. Now they were nothing more than quiet, dusty memories, ghosts really, haunting the halls of your estate. 

_ That was so long ago, now.  _ You thought to yourself in sorrow. What had it been? 7 Years now? Yes. About seven years. 

_ Seven years since Corypheus. Five years since I saw him last, lost my arm and disbanded the Inquisition.  _ Tears were no longer just threatening the corners of your eyes, but instead were now silently streaming down your face. 

You walked past a hallway mirror. There were no candles or lights lit in the estate, but the mirror was illuminated by the moon through the balcony window. You saw yourself. You saw your face. 

You looked tired and broken even to your own eyes. You studied the skin where your Dalish markings, your Vallaslin once were, now blank, now empty, just how you felt inside. 

_ Fitting.  _ You mused to yourself with a dark chuckle. You remembered when he removed them. You thought it was some grand gesture of love. It probably was, from his point of view anyways. You did it for him, you didn’t truly want to get rid of them. They were your history, your family, your memories, your heritage, but you would do anything for  _ him.  _

And then he left you. 

Before you walked into that Gods forsaken garden with him, you were the Inquisitor, A proud Dalish mage of Clan Lavellan. When he got rid of your Vallaslin, you thought, you may have lost your Dalish identity, but it would be replaced with a new identity; the lover of Solas, forever and always. 

But no. You lost both of your identities that night, and were left with only this blank face. A face you have grown to hate the sight of. And now, you don’t even have the title of Inquisitor anymore. You were no one. 

“Who  _ are  _ you?” You asked desperately to the mirror. You couldn’t even recognize your reflection anymore. You hadn’t been able to in some time now. 

You glared at the silent reflection in the glass, angry that it just stared at you in response to your plea. Anger flashed over you, and with your one good hand, you flung all your might forward with a cry into the night, shattering the mirror into pieces, and bloodying your knuckles.

“Fenedhis lasa!” You cursed out loud, clutching your wound. “Agh!” 

_ This is why I don’t look in mirrors.  _ You grumbled to yourself.  _ I should really get rid of them all. I’ll mark that down as something to do tomorrow.  _

__ You continued walking down the hall to the pantry. Something smelled off. In fact,  _ many  _ things smelled off, probably the remnants of food left alone to rot over the course of a few months while you were in Antiva. 

You walked to the wine cellar, kicking away rats who were now so brazen they just scurried around in plain sight. You couldn’t blame them, it might as well be their estate at this point. 

You grabbed three bottles from the cellar and walked them up to the parlor. You lazily lit the hearth with your magic, and plopped yourself and your bottles down on your old couch. 

In front of the couch was a sitting table, the only thing on it was a detailed map of Thedas. It was a scratched up and marked up thing, with nearly every major city, ruin, and nation blacked out in ink with an “X.” The only remaining blank spot on the map being Antiva, a spot you now had the pleasure of making match the rest of it. You took what was left of the black ink in the well and just poured it over Antiva, and watched it slowly taint the rest of the parchment. 

“Not there either.” You whispered to yourself. “Not anywhere. That was the last place.” 

Before your thoughts could get the better of you, you popped the cork to the first bottle and took deep, desperate drinks. You couldn’t go to sleep lately without wine, or ale, or beer, or anything that would make it so you wouldn’t dream. If you dreamed, you would see  _ him,  _ always staring at you from a distance, always in his wolf form, never speaking to you, never allowing you to touch him. You couldn’t take it anymore, the sight of him in your dreams, so you drank your dreams away. 

“Ir abelas, Vhenan.” You whispered to the darkness. “Where are you? Why do you hide?” You often sent hushed pleas into the night, into the fade, wherever you thought your words would lead. For some reason, you believed he could hear you. 

You don’t know how long you spent lying there, crying and drinking, but the first hints of dawn were cracking through your window drapes before darkness finally took you. 

“Ir abelas, Vhenan.” You repeated quietly to yourself as your consciousness faded away. “Ir abelas.” 

**Author's Note:**

> As always, I am a glutton for comments and feedback, please let me know what you think of the story throughout, and I always answer comments! <3 Much love!
> 
> Also, side note, Dragon Age is my all time favorite video game series, and I will gush about it all day.


End file.
